I have this thing that I feel a need to share. I can’t go telling the people I know, beyond family and close friends, because it would be an inappropriate sympathy grab and it isn’t even really my story to tell. It is my son’s. My heart hurts so bad right now though.
So he’s autistic and a sensory seeker, so he needs sports, but he’s hypermobile. I have him on a mile-long waiting list at an EDS clinic. He was officially diagnosed with BJHS a long time ago, but that’s a BS diagnosis; the disease doesn’t officially exist anymore, and it hasn’t since before he was diagnosed. It’s like Asperger’s. Don’t @ me.
Anyway. The doctor said sports were fine. I said no football. Dad said let him, and I lost.
We had a series of bad sprains, but he played through them. His pain tolerance is crazy high. Last year, first scrimmage of the season, he broke a bone. Hypermobility actually made the break not as bad as it could’ve been, but he healed slow, and he was out the whole season, and soccer was rough too. His PT didn’t even really start till soccer was underway, and one leg was atrophied. He got winded easily, and he just generally didn’t have a good season. That was junior year.
This year, he was recruited for a military academy. He should not have been, since he’s autistic, and I think at some point they would have cut him loose, but he was hopeful and pushing through the process. He was excited. And he was playing football, and strongly believed he’d be the captain of his soccer team. He has been playing on this team since he was in 8th grade, and he’s the leader, both in skill and knowledge, and in heart.
Then, last week, in the first game of the regular football season, he dislocated his elbow. They reduced it at the game in the locker room with no anesthesia. He’s a trooper. No tears, just some groans. It was the hardest thing I’ve ever witnessed as a parent, and I’ve witnessed a lot. I have two kids with chronic illness. I can’t even be mad about football, because he could’ve dislocated it riding a bike. He fell on his hand – it wasn’t a tackle or anything.
He thought it was just a sprain – high pain tolerance, remember? We got xrays, they said no biggie, you’ll be back in a week. But the trainer wanted an MRI done because it started swelling badly.
Every ligament except one is fully torn. One fully torn and 2 partially torn tendons. 2 fully torn muscles. 2 damaged nerves. And a small fracture.
He’s done. Military academy is out for sure, now. Football is done. Coaches had emotional conversations with him about how coachable he was and how much heart he had. The soccer roster came out, and he isn’t on it. My heart hurts for him. We’ve cried together three nights in a row. He doesn’t cry often. He just stands there and holds me and I hold him and we cry. This is his senior year… and it will be nothing that he dreamed or hoped for. And I feel like his teammates have moved on. I mean, why wouldn’t they? They have games to win. I get it, but it hurts me so bad to see him hurting.
Parenting is hard, man.
Balance 